I typically credit my wife for this, and have told that story for the umpteenth time earlier this month.
So for this one, I'm going to take a mulligan and tell a different story starring my wife.
I might have mentioned my friend Jordan. He was a gawky teenager when I first met him and taught him about the joys of RPGs. After losing touch with him for a good number of years, we reconnected to find that he was a fully grown Game Master. It was in a game that he was running that this story takes place.
The game was GURPS Monster Hunters. Her character was an ex-Marine named Naomi who was the sole survivor of a combat with what she can only describe as a demon. My character was a small town sheriff named Dale Harper who had seen some pretty strange things. Along with a bunch of other ragtag monster hunters, we were sent to the Deepwater Horizon oil platform (shortly before its accident) to deal with a ... "situation."
Naturally, it was a monster infestation that was made all the more difficult to deal with by a heavy tropical storm. One of the monsters attacked Naomi, piercing her left leg and injecting it with a mysterious secretion that completely destroyed it. (Another character was also attacked in their left leg. Supposedly, the results were rolled separately on a random hit location table, but it was starting to become a trend.) She wound up using a rolling office chair as an improvised wheelchair. In the chaos of the situation, she also lost her sniper rifle.
Another creature got their hands on Harper and stung him with paralytic venom. Bizarrely enough, he made just enough of his rolls that he survived the attack and could get around by wriggling. Unfortunately, when things got too hairy (or slimy, or chitinous, as the case may be) and we called for evac, he was not able to make it onto the escape raft. Needless to say, Sheriff Harper did not survive the adventure.
Naomi eventually returned and used her pay from the mission to buy replacements for her leg and her rifle. The leg was something of a downgrade from what she had before, but the rifle was a definite upgrade. To remind her not to leave it behind, she had the stock of the rifle etched with "Fatal Error" in an 80's computer font.
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